Afraid to Leave Your Spouse?

Melissa DossDivorce, Lawyer

Threats and abuse are a serious matter. If you are afraid, get out of the situation. Walk away and don’t look back. Period. Once you’ve let your spouse know you want a divorce and he or she reacted with threats, don’t stay. It’s hard to swallow but if you are afraid of your spouse then the marriage is over and you need to get out. If your significant other is trying to prevent you from leaving by force, manipulation or scare tactics then you will need help.

Twenty-five percent of adult women say they have experienced violence at the hands of their spouse or partner in a dating relationship. Men, too, can be victims of spousal violence. Eight percent report at least one such incident.

What can you do? Here are six things you can do.

  1. Confide in somebody about what is happening. However, most likely you are probably afraid of how they will react to your admission, that they won’t believe you or else you might be feeling too ashamed to tell anyone. So instead of talking to someone close, the best thing to do is speak to someone anonymous. There are loads of helplines available for abuse victims, and they will listen to you, support you and offer you advice. It is often easier to speak with a stranger than it is to someone close.
  2. Realize you don’t deserve this treatment. Don’t make excuses for your partner.
  3. Realize that your partner does not love you. Abuse victims are often brainwashed into thinking that their partner still loves them. This occurs most often after an abusive incident occurs.
  4. Leave at an opportune time. For example, sneaking out at night, when your partner is asleep or when they are out of the house. Go to a friends, family members or a shelter for abused spouses which you may have heard about in your area. They will help you. They will understand. They will support you.
  5. Report them. You may protect somebody else from being harmed down the line.
  6. Get a restraining order. Just remember that if you have a restraining order, it is just a piece of paper, while some abusive people will follow this, many will not. In fact, it could just make them more angry and aggressive when trying to hurt you. It can help give you peace of mind and legal protection.

No matter, make sure you get help. You don’t deserve to be hurt.